“People who are confident, happy, enthusiastic, vivacious and vibrant are the ones other people are generally attracted to. You’re drawn to those kinds of people—you’re not drawn to the person in the corner of the room counting calories with her shoulders slumped over.”—Nina Dobrev (via curvesappreciationsociety)
“During his presidency, no one ever questioned whether George W. Bush was qualified to attend Yale or Harvard Business School. Yet, he was a C student and an individual with no personal achievements other than his last name. Generations of Bushes had attended Yale, which is why W was admitted. It is assumed that he, like others before him, deserved it. White privilege is normalized in a society where a number of people still believe that an African-American does not deserve to attend an Ivy League school, much less become leader of the free world. Now that [Obama] is president, they must delegitimize him by claiming he is not a citizen, and that he was a bad student.”—
OH MY GOD, THIS TIMES FUCKING INFINITY. I actually heard a woman at work today talking about how Obama should be impeached because he isn’t American and that electing him goes against the Constitution. When someone mentioned that he was doing a better job than Bush had she said “Well at least Bush was an American.” How can people be so ignorant? I don’t understand. Does not compute.
I hate watching movies with you. Or going out to clubs, or bars, or god forbid a burlesque show. I refuse the idea of looking through images on deviantart, or OKCupid, or basically anywhere. Because all it reminds me of is that despite me being so completely not your ideal, you’re still here. That even though it is completely illogical, even though you have admitted to the fact that I am not what you’d normally find attractive, you seemingly are attracted to me. But I’m probably never going to get any thinner than I am right now, and lord knows that this is the best my face is ever going to look. So really, I just sit here wondering how long until you stop seeing me like that. How long until one of the other girls starts to exist as something more than just a pretty image.
I’m tired. I hate feeling like I’m someone that someone is settling for.
“Sometimes I read the same books over and over and over. What’s great about books is that the stuff inside doesn’t change. People say you can’t judge a book by its cover but that’s not true because it says right on the cover what’s inside. And no matter how many times you read that book the words and pictures don’t change. You can open and close books a million times and they stay the same. They look the same. They say the same words. The charts and pictures are the same colors.
Sometimes I wonder if it is actually possible for someone to be irrevocably screwed up. Would you even know if you were? And if you did know, if you were so sure that nothing you did was ever going to change or fix the flaws and shortcomings, do you simply accept that? Cut your losses and run? Do you stick around just to pretend like there is some other choice or likelihood? Do you, perhaps, continue to try to fix yourself, to change yourself, pushing against some unending, unchanging, and overpowering tide?
I am tired. That’s the end of it, really. I am fucking exhausted and I do not want to spend my life trying to fix something that I don’t think is going to be corrected.
Perhaps if we lived within a different culture; if I lived within a different culture. If society was something other than this. But it isn’t. And I’m not. And I am so tired.