I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and then Twitter dropped its block feature (for less than a day ‘cause we got on that quick), and I was reminded that on here I don’t have the option to block people. Which… every time I realize that I kind of want to make the whole thing private and locked.
However, it also made me a little curious to see who some of my followers were, especially since there’s been an increase lately.
I’m going to be really clear now:
I post pretty photos, and sometimes snarky things, but I also post a ton about social justice (because it is something I am involved in and with), and this is a personal blog so sometimes I (perhaps unwisely) post photos of myself and/or my family. Which I was comfortable with until I noted a few people who were following me who had some questionable blogs in relation to mine.
I am not here for your consumption. Stop it. I realize Tumblr is very much set up that way, but if you’re some random guy (cishet specifically) who is following me hoping to see photos of me and you have never sent a single word to me to treat me as human: go away. Seriously, unfollow me now. It creeps me out, and I in no way am interested in cishet (largely white) men who follow women on Tumblr as though they’re characters in a fantasy. There’s no reason to follow me—go find one of the blogs set up for that. There are plenty of women on here who want you to follow them for that reason, and/or blogs linked to sites like Me At Home/God’s Girls/Suicide Girls.
I am not one. I’m a fucking grad student who works with nonprofits, and tries to keep my crying about how many kids in this valley get totally fucked over to a maximum of three times a week.
I am not here for your consumption.
Now for the rebuttal:
"Then why post photos of yourself." Because I look fucking good and would like to have evidence of that four months from now when I’m in the midst of my thesis and forgot what real food/putting on make up is.
"Well, then your blog should be private." See, I thought of that, but that would mean that the good things that happen from the openness—the community, and sharing, and the people who do find me and actually interact with me and are lovely—wouldn’t happen. Furthermore, this is technically mine (and actually with photos and writing I have a copyright for myself—so note that if you also ever took a photo and saved it to your computer without asking you just violated that) and I should have the right to dictate who does and does not enter this space. Think of it as my home. I can still have the house number on the front, and the door unlocked during the day, and that doesn’t actually mean that y’all can just come in off the street and sit down in my living room. Same here, the url is public and the settings are open, but you better still be willing to not put your feet on my coffee table and use coasters (and to not be some person with a porn blog that’s deeply anti-female) if you want to follow me.
"[Insert any other retort here]" No. Sorry. Not here for that. I bug Tumblr every so often (and hope others do too) about putting in a useful blocking feature that does more than just keep you from seeing that someone’s creeping on your blog.
I really do appreciate the followers I have. Most of you are lovely, many of you have amazing blogs (which I would follow if my dash didn’t already overwhelm me, but note that I will go thru and clean out Tumblrs which have stopped posting about once a month and then I go first to my followers to follow new people). But there are a handful of people who are following me who don’t make any sense except that their blogs seem to be about photos of women—many of whom likely did not release their photos for that intent. Or (cishet) men whose blogs are populated by misogynistic, anti-female, anti-feminist, anti-LGBTQ, anti-PoC/WoC posts and for you: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
So to reiterate. Y’all I am a woman, who identifies herself as a feminist, who doesn’t identify within a heteronormative binary in her sexuality (when forced to label I say heteroflexible, but even then it doesn’t feel like a good fit), who is happy to support (as background ‘cause y’all don’t need me up in your business trying to make it about me) PoC and WoC and First Nations because white supremacy is not something I want to see continue, who works trying to help those in poverty—who is living in poverty herself—because it’s a man made condition/system that is deeply unjust, and who is in no way interested in being here for your consumption of women and people as though you can buy them off a supermarket shelf.
My body, my face, my voice are not here to turn you on or sexually arouse you. I don’t give a shit if they do. If you don’t interact with me, if you have never sent me an ask, commented on a post, or otherwise engaged with me respectfully as though I am a human being, and you are also one of those cishet men who is lurking in the shadows unfollow me.
For everyone else: you are welcome to reblog my writing (poetry and otherwise) so long as you leave the original source intact, but as for photos of me, please never reblog those. Like em, send me funny messages about them, whatever, but I’d really appreciate if they don’t go floating off into the ether of Tumblr any more than they already do. (And no, this is not where you get to give me some lecture on morality and safety, this is where I put down boundaries and guidelines that I am kind enough to ask you all respect, but will actually enforce even if you don’t.)
Beyoncé is a remarkable singer, artist, dancer, artistic visionary, Black woman, feminist (I’d say womanist, really), wife, mother, human being. I write this sentence and like…I can hear the haters (that I call miserys; the opposites of stans) screaming their heads off and thinking of horrible…
“Why are record numbers of Americans on food stamps? Because record numbers of Americans are in poverty. Why are people falling through the cracks? Because there are cracks to fall through. It is simply astonishing that in this rich nation more than 21 million Americans are still in need of full-time work, many of them running out of jobless benefits, while our financial class pockets record profits, spends lavishly on campaigns to secure a political order that serves its own interests, and demands that our political class push for further austerity. Meanwhile, roughly 46 million Americans live at or below the poverty line and, with the exception of Romania, no developed country has a higher percent of kids in poverty than we do. Yet a study by scholars at Northwestern University and Vanderbilt finds little support among the wealthiest Americans for policy reforms to reduce income inequality.”—
Like, I’m not just saying she’s so astonishingly beautiful, but seriously how the f*** does one find the time to record a whole album, with 10+ videos as part of it, while on tour!? (Plus being a mom! Like… I actually cannot wrap my head around it, but damn am I glad she did.)